The hardest part is the bit before you start
You do not have to know what is wrong, or what to call it, or what you would even say. That is what the first conversation is for.
Free to search. Nothing is saved. You contact the therapist yourself, and most offer a free first call before anything is booked.
You do not need any of these
Almost everybody who puts this off is waiting for one of the things below. None of them is required.
A referral from your GP
A diagnosis, or a name for it
To be at rock bottom first
An account, or a password
To have tried everything else
To know what you want to say
What actually happens
Fear of an unfamiliar room keeps more people waiting than the cost does. So here is the room.
You send a short message
Two or three lines is plenty. You can say that you are not sure what to write. Message two or three people rather than one; nobody will be offended, and it is how most people do it.
A free call, about fifteen minutes
Not a session. It exists so you can hear a voice and decide whether you want to sit in a room with it. You are allowed to end the call and never book anything.
A first session, fifty minutes
Some paperwork, then open questions rather than a form. You are never obliged to say anything. If you go blank, saying so is useful material rather than a failure.
Everyone here was checked by a person. Then checked again the next year.
Most directories check once, at signup. A membership can lapse in year two and the listing never changes. Every expiry date here is held against the record, and a listing that lapses comes down.
Start wherever feels closest
None of these has to be the right word. People often find the right word months after they start, and some never need one.
Reading before you are ready
Written for somebody who has not decided anything, and is not being asked to.
What happens if you cry, or say nothing at all
The parts of a first session nobody describes honestly.
Asking what it costs, without the embarrassment
Concession places, free routes, and why asking is normal.
How to tell whether it is the right person
Four things to expect, and how to leave if it is not.
If you cannot afford this, here is where to go instead
Paying is not the only route, and it is not always the fastest one. Waiting times vary a great deal by area, so it is worth putting your name down somewhere free even if you also look privately.
Many therapists here hold a small number of places at a lower rate. They are rarely advertised and they usually go to whoever asks. How to ask about a concession place.
NHS talking therapies
Free in England, and you can refer yourself without seeing a GP first. Available in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland through your GP.
Your GP surgery
Some practices host a counsellor directly, and a GP can refer you on to services that are not listed publicly.
Charities and training clinics
Counselling charities and university training clinics offer sessions free or at a low rate, usually with a waiting list.
Build a practice on trust, not ad spend
Six questions to apply. A person checks your registration against your professional body’s public register. Nobody pays before they know they have been accepted.
If you need help now. This site is not an emergency service and nobody here is monitoring it. Call Samaritans free on 116 123 at any hour, or 999 in an emergency.